Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
