So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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