My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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