...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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