i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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