Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
