Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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