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just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
