I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I will die if light touches me.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
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