u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
