I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
