I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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