3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
oh god the rape fog is back!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
