It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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