What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
