he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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