You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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