think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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