I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
