I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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