Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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