omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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