U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
