apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
