I wish I only lived at night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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