Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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