I'm drive I can fine osifer
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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