There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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