Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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