He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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