Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
