i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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