I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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