Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
