he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
