Having a random hookup so left but love u
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
