Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He felt like a one man threesome
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
