So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
