Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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