A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
