His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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