white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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