the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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