do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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