I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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