Kiss
Puke
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I will be naked everywhere
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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