Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
