on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
