Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
