Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
